Personal Essay

For my English 1010 class, I have to write a personal essay. Just something simple about myself, and the life lessons I've learned.

I struggle with knowing how much I should share. I don't know where to start. Well, I do, but I don't know how to start. I don't really know what I should share, because I hate being looked at differently when people find out about mom. They usually don't say anything, but the look in their eyes says it all. It's a look of pity, or perhaps it's a look of helplessness. I'm not really sure. I know they don't know what to say, which is understandable. I've heard the words "I'm Sorry" about a thousand times, and I know people are sorry. I know they feel sorry for me, and that's what I have a hard time with.  I don't want to be pitied, I just want people to understand.

I lead a different life than most people my age. That's okay with me. I'm used to it. I schedule my time around visits with mom, because no matter what, she's my priority. I really hate missing a day of seeing her, because her condition is so unpredictable that I don't know what may change from day to day. Sometimes it's hard, missing out on things, or choosing between them. I usually pick seeing mom. She deserves at least that from me.

 I picked seventeen different titles for my personal essay. One for each year I've lived. I wrote a paragraph about each, and I'm not really sure which one I want to pick. I thought about picking a couple and writing an essay for each, and then choosing which I like better, but I know they'll just end up at the same place, about the same thing. It doesn't really matter how I start it, because I know the story will morph into my story, and become the same words, just arranged in a different order. I suppose that's what writing is about.

I'll keep you posted and let you know when I figure out which essay I'm going to write. This should be interesting.

P.S. Thanks for letting me brain dump. It cleared my head so now I can do my homework! And I have a lot of homework.

Do You Ever?

Do you ever just wake up in the morning and want to roll over and go back to sleep, knowing it's just going to be one of those days?

Well, that was me this morning. I probably would have been better off if I had. But, I still had to get up and go to school. Life goes on.

I can't really tell you why it was a bad day, it just was.

All I know is that I'm glad today is almost over. I'm going to try to wake up in the morning a make tomorrow a better day. It probably will be considering it's my half day.

 Hallelujah.

Sometimes...

Sometimes you just have one of those days. Today is one of those days.

Sometimes you don't know what's causing your bad mood. Today I don't know.

Sometimes you just have to cry. Today I have to cry.

Sometimes you have to have chocolate. Today I need chocolate.

Sometimes you just want to crawl in bed and not come out for a week. Today I want to crawl in bed.

Sometimes you just need the day to be over so a new one will start. Today I can't wait for the day to be over.


Sometimes you just have to blog to clear your mind. Today I needed to clear my mind.