Green

I've been experiencing some feelings of jealousy lately. A lot of them, actually.

I find myself being jealous because of everything that others have. Everything I once had, but was stolen from me by a disease.
I find myself jealous of other girls who have their moms through their teen years. I was fourteen when my mom got sick. I've liven through most of my teen years without the normal mom influence in my life. Sure, there are plenty of female figures in my life, but no one is like your mom. No one.

I find myself jealous because others have their moms at home and take them for granted. I would give anything to have my mom back with me at home. Every birthday, every Christmas, my wish remains one and the same. The one thing I wish for is the one thing I can't attain.

Slowly, green is becoming one of my favorite colors. I'm becoming more familiar with it, becoming more similar to it's jealous qualities.

I'm not bitter anymore. I once was, but I never will be again. I am jealous, and I suppose that with time, that will die down too.

I'm not angry, but I am upset. Sometimes, I just have a hard time. Coping is a hard thing to do when your enemy is right there, staring you in the face every day. My enemy is Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. What is yours?